So it's not gonna be easy. It's going to be really hard; we're gonna have to work at this everyday, but I want to do that because I want you. I want all of you, forever, everyday. You and me... everyday.
Nicholas Sparks
“Omnes pro uno, unus pro-omnibus.”
Latin for “All for one…one for all”.
Impressed? (you should be…I can Google with the best of them!)
Do you know how hard agreement really is? Get five colleagues together and ask the simplest question…
“Where does everyone want to go for lunch?”
High powered executives that just made billion-dollar decisions, take 15 minutes to come to agreement. Thankfully, in marriage, it only “takes two to make a thing go right”. But the Power of Agreement is easier said than done in marriage, too (don’t agree with me, they may be reading over your shoulder!)
I once heard someone say, “It doesn’t matter how many people agree with you as long as the right person does”. There is a supreme power of true agreement.
The people are one (in unison) and nothing they have imagined to do can be withheld from them.” Genesis 11:6
Agreement requires you to communicate openly, to plan strategically, and appreciate the mutual support frequently, Yes, that’s gratitude – in good times and bad! We need our spouses to understand. To be in a position “to stand” with us.
Natalie and I have been happily (ecstatically!) married 33 years and the level of success we enjoy now makes it look like a carefree “charmed” life. Nothing could be further from the truth. We have had to fight for every victory, and I can now say in hindsight, that I would not change a thing!
I met my wife when we were 14 and I knew right away she was the one. She was beautiful (still is), sweet, quiet and unassuming back then…but make no mistake… my wife is a WARRIOR!!!
I bet your spouse is too…given the opportunity to prove it!
In the 3rd year of marriage, after we lost our first house, we sat down and wrote out three core agreements. I believe in them and think that if you customize them to your household and live and die by them, you can build the Power of Agreement.
Here are our agreements:
#1 – I agree not to use threats and ultimatums when things are not going the way I want them to.
Fine print: This includes using money or intimacy as “weapons” (grown folks know what I mean!)
#2 – I agree that we will not expose each other’s weaknesses and our challenges to others – yes, including family! Especially family!
Fine Print: Keep your business off Facebook, please!
#3 – I agree to fight – just not each other. We will fight the circumstances that we are facing and continue fighting as a team…until we win!
Fine Print: When you win…then you can expose your testimony to bless and encourage others.
That is what I am trying to do here!
During our highest points of struggle, my wife and I remained “quiet”. Afterward, I would tell people about the struggle. I tell them that we were not being secretive…we were being sacred. Keeping things to ourselves to strengthen our bond in the midst of battle.
I know that for some, the last week of Daily Sales Crumbs may have seemed obscure and I hope you never need the advice given. But some of you needed this and should go home tonight and show this to your spouse, I would bet that some version of this, is what your spouse has been longing to hear.
The Power of Agreement multiplies effort, authority, and helps you stay focused on the battle in the field, and not create friendly fire at home. I know that once you engage the Power of Agreement things will get better…quickly!
When people see you and your spouse, they should see…
Two for One!
